Mala takes Pride in telling her Success Story.......

My name is Mala Suresh Kumar and I am 28 years old. I was born and brought up in Chintadripet, Chennai. I have four sisters, one elder and two younger sisters. Together we lived in a hut built with single wood at the center. My parents used to sleep outside the house in the night so that we girls could sleep inside the hut. My mother is a construction worker and my father is an auto-rickshaw driver.

I am a very Good athlete, participated in all of the co curricular activities at school, and have won many prices. I am an extrovert person, very social to every one around. I had four close friends. I liked music a lot.

My father is an alcoholic and that made him pick up fights with my mother. Sometimes he left the entire family for several days, stays at his mother’s house and does not give any money to my mother. My mother’s salary was not sufficient to get us educated in the school. Therefore, when I was in eighth standard, she told me to quit school. I was studying in a governmental school, Tamil medium. My elder sister quit her schooling after third standard. My younger sisters stayed in school until 10th standard because she wanted to become a police officer. My mother managed to keep my sisters in school so they fulfill their dream. Unfortunately, they failed in their 10^th standard, due to insufficient marks. I wanted to become a police officer too but due to insufficient money, my mother asked to quit school and I was ok with her decision as I was not so strong about my dream.

It was those six months I spent at home helping my mother with house chores by dividing the work among sisters. One was carrying water, one was washing clothes, one was sweeping, etc.

Back in time, I heard about a job vacancy in one of the electronic shop as a seller located at mount Road. I started to work as a seller in an electronic shop. I was 14 years old. Back then, I earned 500 rupees per month. I enjoyed working there because the other sellers were around my age and I was able to come back home for lunch and tea.

However, I had a dust allergy and had to go to the hospital once a week. Due to financial crisis, my mother insisted to change jobs to get more pay so I happened to work in different sector that gave me a lot of experience to adapt things around even as I was in 14 to 21 years old.

I always wanted to marry a man who would agree to let me help my mother after marriage. I had many proposals.  That is when I met Suresh Kumar. One day he and his family visited our house and I was impressed with the way he spoke to my mother. During the meet Suresh,’s family reassured us and promised to take great care of my mother and me after marriage.

Suresh Kumar was 23 years old and he worked as a coolie at the fish market. We had a grand marriage ceremony. After the temple ceremony, we had a huge reception with a parade. My husband and I were in the car, surrounded by musicians. I was 21 years old when I got married.

I was happy when I got married. Nevertheless, after marriage Suresh Kumar changed a lot. He forbids me from meeting my mother for no reason. I learnt that he was an alcoholic and smoked ganja.

We lived with my husband’s family (Mother-in -law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law in the same house) within three months we owned a house for ourselves, in Chintadripet. I looked after the house holds as a single person without any one to help. My mother in law always disapproved to wash dishes or clothes the next day when it is overload for the day. She tries to bring in misunderstanding between husband and me by complaining it to my husband and that would lead him to beat me. My husband’s family never believed in sorting out things by speaking out rather it was always violence, practiced to sort things. They had some huge debts. They asked me to mortgage my jewels but I refused, which created new conflicts. Lately, my husband returned home late in the night, tries to pick conflicts, and beats me almost every day.

During my pregnancy my neither my in-laws nor my family looked after me. There was no function organized to wish my baby or me for a good delivery. I delivered my first baby at Gosha government hospital. The delivery was very difficult and painful. The baby was upside down. I had over ten doctors around me, saying either the mother or the baby would live. However, I was fortunate to give birth to a baby girl, Naveena. We stayed for five days in the hospital; Naveena was so fragile they put her in an incubator. My husband never came to see us. I started to cry as badly as I watch other women in the hospital with their husband’s around them and their babies. My baby girl and I went along with my mother to her house once we completed with the hospital formalities.

Five months after giving birth, my husband and mother-in-law insisted that I come back home. They wanted me back home because there was no one to clean the house, prepare food, etc. I told them that I had to take care of the baby, as Naveena was still fragile, and asked if my mother can come along to take care of Naveena at my in laws place. My husband disagreed for it, busted out with huge fight, and hit me badly. Therefore, I agreed to go with him. Mean while my mother did the traditional formalities and rituals to send Naveena and me with some anklets, bracelets, etc, this is part of the tradition for the grandmothers to their grand daughters.

Having set everything my Life was going on and we had fewer problems than before. During Naveena’s first birthday, my husband asked me for my jewels so he can have some money to organize the birthday function. I refused to give my jewels but a friend lent us Rs 10 000 for the birthday, to have return it as soon as possible. However, we sold the jewels and gifts we received at the birthday party to pay the back the due.

It is just Rs. 100 given to me every day by my husband to run the family. With that petty cash, he was demanding to buy him tea, breakfast and cigarettes everyday. With the left over money, I bought milk for the baby for RS. 12. I remember I had nothing to eat for myself so I had to go back and forth to my mother’s place to eat something and get back home to make dinner for my husband. My mother in law questions me about my going and coming to my mother’s place and my house. I replied her to give me money to eat if not let me go to my mothers house to eat.

I delivered a Boy baby when Naveena was one year and eight months old. We named him Naresh. During my second delivery, once again the doctors said the delivery could get complicated, as the baby’s head is big and I thought to myself to be unlucky as I watch many other women having a normal delivery. Having not found any answer I went for my family planning as it was encouraged by the Indian government to have done after one or two children.

As usual, my mother in law was not taking care of my self and I started to become weaker day by day. Conflicts started to arise among us. My husband asked for more money by his mother to provide me food to eat, as I had not given food to eat. When my mother came to know about the situation, she started to get me food every day to eat. That is how I gained some strength in a month’s time.

I was the time when my son became 1 year old my husband stopped working at the fish market. Instead, he became a helper in a stereo shop. He earned Rs 150 per day but gave me 300/400 rupees only per week.

Soon after, I learnt about his affair with a neighbor of us. Because of that, he was irregular at work, always spent his time to meet the girl. I had beaten up when I question him about his leaves. He was coming late from work, at strange hours. I accused him of having an affair with the woman but he kept on saying it was not true. He says, I had no proof and that I had to stop asking him.

One day, I happened to see him with the woman on the street. I confronted my husband, saying I have a proof now. I started to fight with the woman, but he interposes himself. He grabbed my hair and dragged me on the streets. A police jeep passes by happen to see us fight, enquired about the issue, and advised me to sue a case against him.

The following days I kept questioning my husband to tell me the truth. My mother-in-law refused to answer me too. One day my husband got irritated with my question and dragged me on the streets by holding my hair, my friends and relatives tried to stop him behave and treat me so rude. However, nothing helped. He brought me to my mother’s house and asked my mother to have me back.

The incident led me to file a complaint against my husband however; my in laws stopped me to file a case and apologized for the incident. Despite my feelings and hurts, I returned home without filing a case.  

After this incident, he pretended to look for a job. He was out all day, coming very late at night, saying he did not find anything. He did not give me any more money. He said to manage without any money. I borrowed Rs 25 000 and mortgaged my jewels to pay them back.

I put Naveena in Speed Trust’s crèche. One morning, while she was very slow to get ready, I scolded and hit her, telling her not to be lazy and quick to get ready. My mother-in-law told me not to hit her. I said I was just trying to discipline Naveena so that she cannot repeat the same when she grows up. This small dispute took huge proportions. My mother in law complained about the incident that happened in the morning to my husband who returned home late in the evening. When my husband heard it, he yelled at me, hit me and dragged my children and me out of the house. I had left all alone with my children in the bus stop, not knowing where to go.

I did not want to go back to my parents’ house because I remember promising them to live with my husband and would do everything to make my marriage successful. If I had to go now I would break my promise and would create a bad opinion about myself. Therefore, I went to my sister’s house, in Gandhi Nagar. We stayed there for a month without any issues.

One day, my husband came to my sister’s house at 11 pm, asking for me. She told him it is not a good time to see me and that he should come back in the morning. Nevertheless, my husband started to yell at my sister, telling her he has the right to see me whenever he wanted because I am his wife. The neighbors started to question him like, “why is your wife living here and not with you?”, and ‘where were you all these while?”. The neighbors defended my sister and me. The whole thing caused a huge fight that night.

On the very same night, my husband went to see my mother to complaint about my sister’s behavior. They started fighting. My sister’s husband went to the house too when my mother had called him. It was too much to take it for everybody.

My family members filed a complaint against my husband saying he was creating problems and fighting even in the mid night. The two families ended up in the police station and started fighting. My husband hit me in front of the police officers; watching him hit me the police officers understood as to why I was refusing to live with him. We did not want to live together anymore. We signed up a paper putting an end at our common life, with both our agreements on it. The police officers asked my children with whom they would like to stay and thought to leave my children with me to be better off than Suresh Kumar.

After which, I stayed with my elder sister for three months. Naveena was still in Speed Trust crèche, in spite of irregular fee. She was soon old enough to go to school. I moved with my children to another house located in Gandhi Nagar, owned by my sister. I did not pay her regular rent; I was just giving her the money when she required. To look after my children, I started to work as a house cleaner and earned Rs 1000 per month. I had food to eat at my work place and brought some food to home.

One day, one of the SPEED Trust social worker asked me as to why I did not pay the crèche fees, as it is comparatively lesser fee than any other crèche in the city.  I explained my situation to him.

Having understood my problem the SPEED Trust Social worker visited my house and enrolled us into the family follow-up program. Hence, I became a beneficiary of Speed Trust. One day, during a beneficiaries meeting, the coordinator of the rickshaw program asked, if there is any other women who would like to learn auto rickshaw driving.  I was interested so I applied for the same. They selected me, got me trained, and I had my license and my auto.

Now I earn 300 rupees per day, and I take care of my children without anyone’s help. My husband never tried to see us again. I know he’s roaming around without a job, still having his affair… If he tries to come back, I will not accept him; we can take care of ourselves without him. Suresh Kumar is dead to me.

I like to drive an auto-rickshaw. Sometimes I have bad passengers who are Drunken who say bad words… Some are good. Once a very suspicious man asked me to drive him from bar to bar, then asked me to send a girl to his house! I managed to get him out of the auto; however, I am scared about strangers like him. There are people who are very happy to see a woman driving auto rickshaw, especially women. At times, there are people who talk badly and create problems.

I really enjoy my life now. I can buy some good foods and some nice clothes for my children and me. They are happy with my work and they me working hard. They try hard in their studies to score well so that they can please me and do as good as I do. I want my children to become educated citizens, and that they should never suffer as I did. Everything that I am doing today is for them. I arranged my schedule so I can be with them after school and tuition. Now the three of us are very happy.