Lakshmi Subramani Shares her Story...........

My name is Lakshmi. I was born in Vanthavasi. My parents were cooli laborers. I’m the only daughter in my family and I have two younger brothers. I got married on the 9^th September 1999. It was an arranged marriage. I have three daughters. My husband is an auto rickshaw driver. My husband was from Chennai, so after marriage we had settle down to Chennai. 

After ten years of married life, my husband got a heat boil in his eye. We took him to the hospital hoping it to be a normal heat boil. The doctors said the boil is creating cancer on his eye. So we got him operated and was wishing to have a normal sight. But he lost his eye sight.

During which we came to know about SPEED TRUST, approached Philippe Sir to help us. We kept him for 10 months at home and spent a lot of money for his recovery. Philippe sir helped us too. To our distress, cancer slowly started to spread around to his shoulder, teeth and to his lungs. He couldn’t even walk by himself. We tried almost every hospital. At the end we took him to Madhavaram (Name of the place) we kept him for a week there. He died on the 5^th month of 2010.

After he died I and my children suffered a lot to run the family. SPEED Trust took complete responsibility for my children’s education. I work in a hospital as a housekeeper and that’s how I earn money and save my family. My first daughter’s name is Eswari, studying 4^th standard. My second daughter is Sashwini, studying 1^st grade. My third daughter, Rajishwari is 4 years old.

I weave one basket in a month whenever I don’t go to work. I like to spend my time weaving baskets. My only aim in life is for my children to study well. I want to see them good.

When I walk on the roads I see people saying, that I’m a widow but that doesn’t stop me to give up life because I want to live for my children. Its heart breaking that I lost my husband but still I feel strong to live for my children.

My youngest daughter doesn’t know that my husband has died; she still believes that he’s in the hospital. We tried to tell her that he died but the next day she asks for her dad and believes him to be in the hospital. My husband was doing social work and the neighbors believe that because of his hard work and being exposed to the sun has caused the heat boil. I don’t regret the work he has done for the society even if one person says that my husband is bad, there are ten people who says he is a good man, and I take pride in it.

When my husband died I wanted to die along, but because of my children I did not want to do that. When I close or open my eyes it’s always my children’s thought that pops into my mind.

 

During special occasions like puberty function, wedding people do not consider me to be a good company because I’m a widow and that have caused me to think of dying. But again it’s for my children that I want to live. It’s been one and a half year since I prayed to God and I don’t believe in God anymore. All I focus on is my children. We put flowers for my husband’s photo but not to any of the Gods in my house. We stopped all ritual activities.

My aim in life is to live for my children and to see them grow and study and prosper in life. I’m determined to live for them and sacrifice my life for them. I thank SPEED Trust for all the help that have been providing me. Without them I and my children cannot imagine to live a life.